2022 Book Recommendations: Compassion Edition
Since we’re nearing the end of the year, I thought I’d share some of my favorite books — most of which I read this past year (or re-read again this year). Each of these books has contributed to my journey in the field of compassion and has helped me grow in positive ways. From mindfulness to resilience, self-compassion to communication skills, and navigating burnout to calming the nervous system, these books have a lot to offer.
Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer
We spend so much time in our lives communicating with other people, but how much of that is spent running on autopilot? Are we going into conversations with the intention to connect and deepen understanding or to be right? Oren has an extensive background in Nonviolent Communication work, and this book is one I recommend to everyone (I’ve now read it three times from cover to cover). The skills you learn in this book are life-changing. Being able to remain present, grounded, and calm during conversations (especially difficult ones) is not a skill I ever thought I’d be able to master. I highly recommend looking into the Say What You Mean Course as well. It’s a wonderful way to work through the book while actively practicing the tools he provides.
The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff & Chris Germer
Kristin Neff & Chris Germer are leaders in the world of self-compassion. If you’re hoping to learn how to better accept and support yourself, this workbook is easy to read by any and all interested. I also read Kristin’s book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself if you’re interested in learning more about self-compassion before diving into the workbook.
Research shows that self-compassion is positively associated with psychological well-being, including less anxiety/depression/stress and more positive states of mind, such as happiness, optimism, and overall life satisfaction. It’s also associated with greater emotional intelligence, increased motivation, healthy behavior, immune functioning, positive body image, and resilient coping.
Self-compassion is precisely the opposite of our typical reaction to internal threats: self-criticism, self-isolation, and self-absorption.
The author, Dr. James Doty, is also the founder of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE), which teaches the Applied Compassion Training program I graduated from in 2021. His story is an inspiring one, showcasing how having the right tools at your disposal can completely change your life’s trajectory. You don’t often hear about a child learning the skills of mindfulness and quieting the mind, and it shows just how important it can be to learn those skills at an early age. I feel lucky to be learning them as an adult! It’s an easy read (or listen if you love a good audiobook).
I first stumbled upon Dr. Rick Hanson while doing research for my ACT capstone project. I was studying Negativity Bias and came across his Taking in the Good practice, which is one of many practices included in Resilient. Learning that it’s possible to re-wire our negative-prone brains has been a breath of fresh air for me, and I regularly notice myself taking the time to savor positive experiences since learning this practice. This book is chock full of teachings and actions you can take to grow your inner strengths (like gratitude and compassion).
If you enjoy the book, I also recommend you check out their podcast: Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson. In the podcast, you’ll find incredible conversations and interviews around the ideas and science behind well-being.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski
This book tackles the idea that women experience burnout differently than men while providing an easy-to-follow, science-based plan to minimize stress and manage emotions. I related to much of what the Nagoski sisters shared in this book and especially loved the chapter about self-compassion. I had my highlighter out frequently while reading. The book includes practical exercises and lessons to help you lead a more joyful life — one where you’re able to complete your stress cycles and manage your emotions in beneficial ways.
Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve by Stanley Rosenberg
The vagal nerves are the main nerve pathway of the parasympathetic nervous system — the part of the nervous system which calms and relaxes the body after periods of stress or danger. This book taps into ways to activate the vagus nerve, allowing us to calm ourselves.
Regular vagal nerve activation can lead to improvements in mood, well-being, and resilience. Stimulating the vagus nerve also helps us better manage anxiety and stress when they arise.
Here are a few books I’m currently reading/looking forward to reading in 2023:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Compassionate Leadership: How to Do Hard Things in a Human Way by
How Compassion Can Transform Our Politics, Economy, and Society
Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of Rain by Tara Brach
Why do I link to Bookshop.org? Bookshop is an incredible way to support local bookstores. Their platform gives independent bookstores tools to compete online and financial support to help them maintain their presence in local communities. I’m a big fan.
What have you read this year that has made an impact on your life? I would love to add your favorites to my list.
Happy Holidays!
Kristine